


A Flower in His Palm

by Kakairuaddictwithapen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Author continues to wrestle with the formatting, Chapter ten is sad, Fluffy, It never crossed over into explicit territory sorry, M/M, Secret sexy times, Smut, Starts pre series, The one where Iruka doesn’t know his own self worth, and chapter eleven is happy, and goes from there, but maybe I’ll make it to E, it’s at an M now, or Both, perhaps a little ooc, probably angsts too tho, secret pining, so read one, there’s an alternative ending, whatever you want bro, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-08-23 17:47:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20246824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakairuaddictwithapen/pseuds/Kakairuaddictwithapen
Summary: Kakashi keeps Iruka’s bed warm at night.During the day, he’s as cold as can be.Iruka is torn between the kind of man Kakashi is at night, and who he is during the day.





	1. Come home with me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! Updates will probably be slow on this, but I’m aiming for a multi chapter fic with plot and feels.  
This work is *heavily* inspired by some other works, fics I’ve read over and over again. I wanted to riff off some of the ideas from them- and add all my favorite tropes to the mix.  
It’s mostly a mix between these two:  
All Ninja Need Love by B_Rated (everything they write is great!!! I adore <3)  
Not Caught Up by AllPrompts  
With a little bit of this thrown in:  
The Dreams We Dream by AlexiaNite  
You Suck at Love by masc_malfunction 
> 
> All great fics, I totally recommend!

It started innocuously enough. They had been casual friends for a while, they got their weapons from the same shops, and the moment Kakashi found out Iruka made his own explosive tags, he wouldn’t use anyone else’s.  
Their ten minute exchanges over basic tags turned into hours of discussions about barriers and seals, and the secrets the the Namikaze and Uzumaki clans had once held. They started to spar together, and although Kakashi was stronger and faster, Iruka was wiley. He used tricks and traps, and was better at close range than Kakashi was. Iruka left bruised and sore, but he always got at least one good hit on Kakashi, and that felt like a victory. Kakashi would always help him up, brush him off, and give him one of those famous eye smiles.  
“Good hit Sensei,” he’d say, “I didn’t see that one coming.” And a Iruka would grin, and the tightness in his chest would increase just a little bit more. 

It was easy for Iruka to develop a bit of a crush. Sure, Kakashi could be a bit of an arrogant douchebag, but when you survived death as many times as he had, it was sure to come with the territory. He was cocky, but not to the point of recklessness. He was...nice. Iruka enjoyed the time the spent together. He was grateful for the friendship, and he would take it, and not ask anything more of the other man. Until the incident of training ground 11. 

It was a heavy spar. Kakashi was on medical leave, his mind more restless than usual. He was almost back to full strength, but Iruka pushed hard. After getting charred from a few explosive tags, and being caught in a rope trap, (“Kinky, Sensei.” Was his response as he struggled to get free.) they were now going hand to hand. Both men were breathing hard, tired and sore, but neither would relent. Iruka managed to catch Kakashi’s foot with his own, but he only succeeded in bringing Kakashi down on top of him. It was then that he felt it.  
Kakashi was hard.  
Hard, and braced against him, visible eye wide, arms tense.  
All he could do was moan, “Kakashi.” And then they were kissing.  
It didn’t last long, Kakashi’s mask was dusty, and both were out of breath. Kakashi pulled back, and whispered, “come home with me?” Iruka rolled his hips up into Kakashi’s, and it took everything in him to body flicker them both to his flat. 

And that was what started it all.


	2. Who’re You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. 
> 
> The second time I’ve written this chapter. SAVE A BACKUP OF YOUR WORKS FOLKS!

Iruka woke up pleasantly achy, limbs loose and splayed about the bed. He’d felt Kakashi leave in the early morning hours, Iruka supposed he’d been called away on an important mission. He wouldn’t leave his new lover, and here, Iruka’s own thoughts ground to a halt. Lovers. He mulled over the word. That was what they were now, right? Lovers? The thought made Iruka smile. He’d catch up with Kakashi later. For now, at least, he’d go back to sleep. 

Kakashi was in trouble. He was back at his apartment, kitchen sink water water running as hot as possible, and the blood, would. Not. Come. Out. He scrubbed, and scratched, he skin getting redder and more irritated as he washed.  
He’d wanted to spend the whole night with Iruka, wanted to wake up next to his warm body, soft and pliant with sleep. He’d wanted a good morning kiss. But he’d left when the blood on his hands had started oozing, staining Iruka’s sheets. He’d gone home to scrub away the blood. Out, damned spot, as it were.

His thoughts spiraled, everything he touched was bloodied; sullied. 

Iruka. He began to shake. Had he been covered in blood when he’d touched Iruka? Would he wake up, covered in bloodied handprints, cursing Kakashi for filthying him? He abruptly shut the water off. He needed to leave. He needed to breathe.   
He needed to save Iruka for the horror show that was Hatake Kakashi. 

Iruka’s mission desk shift didn’t start until early afternoon, so he woke up slowly, and nursed a cup of coffee. He wondered what Kakashi was doing, wondered if he’d see him again soon. A perk of working the desk is that you knew who was on missions, and who was on leave, as long as they weren’t ANBU. Iruka had clearance to see and give out S-Rank missions, so even that information wasn’t bared from him. It wasn’t exactly ethical, but it wasn’t outright illegal either. He’d check on Kakashi’s status when he got to the desk.   
For now, he ran through his stretches, only wincing a little at the pain in his back. He looked at his hips, and smiled in smug satisfaction. Kakashi had left bruises. They were beautiful. Iruka loved them.   
He dressed, and ate a light lunch. He locked and warded his door, and set out to work. He had a smile on his face, his heart felt light. He’d forgotten how wonderful a good lay was, how it made everything so much less stressful. Endorphins really were a great thing.   
A student ran up to him, wanting to show him a river rock he’d found, knowing his Sensei would appreciate it. He bent down to his level, properly encouraging his young student. When he rose, he came eye to eye with Kakashi. He broke into a huge grin, and took a step forward.   
“Kakashi! What’re you...”   
Kakashi gave him a puzzled look.   
“Who’re you?”


	3. Shelter Me from the Wind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am incredibly overwhelmed by the amazing response to the last chapter! Thank you. All of it warms my little heart! I hope this doesn’t disappoint.

The pain of betrayal hit him like an actual blow. His chest tightened, his throat closed. What? What had Kakashi just asked? Iruka’s thoughts raced at a million miles an hour, trying desperately to understand. Had he misheard? Was Kakashi talking to someone else? They were publicly friends why would...? 

Now they were privately something else. They’d taken their friendship and turned it into something else, and now Kakashi was asking who he was in the Marketplace.  
Iruka took a breath, and then another. For whatever reason, Kakashi didn’t want to have a public scene with him right now. It hurt, it made the bile rise to the back of his throat, but he’d play the game Kakashi had laid out for him. 

“Umino. Iruka.” Iruka stretched out his hand, grasping Kakashi’s in a handshake. On his palm, in shinobi shorthand, he wrote. “My place. 8pm. No excuses.”  
Kakashi blinked, and nodded. He did not give his own name in this bizarre introduction. Instead, Iruka three his bag over his shoulder, and turned around. He determinedly did not look at all the watching eyes, the ninja looking on, just as confused as he was. He had work after all. And he needed to prepare for what he’d say to Kakashi that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the shorter chapter! But I wanted to give the next scene the time it deserves, so I just kinda needed the set up out of the way.   
I hope you enjoyed nonetheless.


	4. Now That the Chips are Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi explains himself. Or, he tries to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you notice the theme of the chapter titles, let me know, and you’ll win my eternal love and affection!l

He had panicked. Kakashi of the Sharingan, Master of a thousand jutsu, the copy cat ninja, had panicked.  
He hadn’t expected to see Irkua, he hadn’t had time to come up with a good way to explain, “Hey, I really like you, and we had some really great sex, and I deeply admire you as a friend, but there’s blood on my hands that won’t wash out, and I don’t want to soil your light and goodness with my darkness and filth.” So he’d said the first thing that sprang to mind, the first thing that would protect Iruka.  
“Who’re you?” And it was an honest question. Who was Iruka to Kakashi now? More than friends, less than partners... lovers? Who Iruka even want to be his lover? As soon as he’d said the words though, he realized he’d made a mistake. The light left Iruka’s eyes, he looked like he’d taken a blow to the stomach. Kakashi had braced himself for a slap in the face, for some verbal berating.  
Iruka has surprised him though.  
He held out his hand, and introduced himself. To the world, he’d declared, “Umino Iruka.” And to Kakashi, he’d given an instruction, to come to his apartment after his shift that night.  
Kakashi had only a few hours to prepare for the heartache to come. 

Iruka’s shift had been miserable. All he could do was replay Kakashi’s dead eyed stare, his heart shattering comment. At first, Iruka was devastatingly crushed. He was sad, and that sadness developed into anger. He couldn’t wait to tear into Kakashi tonight.  
He let his anger consume him, and by the time he got home, he was red faced and fuming.  
He was immediately disarmed by the sight of a mask-less Kakashi, sitting criss crossed on his floor. His head was down, and his palms were facing upward on his knees. Iruka thought his heart couldn’t break anymore, and yet the sight of a completely vulnerable Kakashi melted him. He toed off his sandals, and sat across from Kakashi. The other man didn’t stir, not until Iruka grabbed one of his hands. He looked up, slowly, gently, and squeezed Iruka’s hand. 

“Hatake Kakashi, tell me what the hell is going on.”

Kakashi took a deep breath. He had prepared for this. He had searched his heart, and it had come up selfish. He was sure Iruka would leave if he knew about the blood on Kakashi’s hands, the darkness he carried in his soul. And yet, he did not want to give him up. So he’d concocted a plausible, possibly even true story to assuage Iruka’s anger. He could keep the other man, and maybe if he washed enough, the grime he carried would not tarnish Iruka. 

“I’m being watched.” Iruka blinked at him , suspicious. “In the village. Their are spies in the village, and I’m being targeted. I didn’t want to put you in unnecessary danger. It’s one thing to be connected to me as a friend, an ally, and another to be...” He deliberately let his voice trail off, and met Iruka’s sharp gaze. He was clearly thinking.  
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”  
And here, Kakashi told the truth.  
“Mah, Sensei, I’m a selfish man. I wanted you, and I was afraid I couldn’t have you if you knew the danger.” The truth, Kakashi thought bitterly. If you knew the truth about me.

Iruka pulled back a bit, but kept Kakashi’s hand in his grasp.  
“I’m still mad you didn’t tell me...” Kakashi held his breath, anxiously awaiting what he’d say. “But. I understand. You did what you thought was right, and I can’t fault you for that.” Kakashi hoped he’d always hold that sentiment.

Iruka needed a minute. It was a good, although bare, explanation. The question remained, what now? So he made some tea, and threw together dinner for the two of them. What did he want? He searched his heart, and found it selfish. He wanted to keep Kakashi, in spite of the added danger. He was a ninja after all, danger was in the job description. He could only hope Kakashi felt the same way. 

He returned, and placed the cup into Kakashi’s hands. The other man had settled on the couch, and Iruka desperately wanted to join him. As if able to read his mind, Kakashi bent his knees and spread his legs, giving Iruka the perfect place to sit. As he got comfortable, he was secretly glad he wasn’t facing Kakashi, he didn’t want to look him in the eye for the question he was about to pose. He took a long sip, and steeled himself. 

Kakashi could feel Iruka tense. His back went ridged, his spine locked into place. He wished the teacher would melt against him, turn his head and gift him hot, teasing kisses, but he knew the talking wasn’t done. So he waited for Iruka to speak.   
The words were so quiet, Kakashi almost missed them.   
“What happens now?”   
Kakashi grasped his chin, and gently guided the other mans lips to his own. The kiss was tender, and heart achingly sweet. There was an undercurrent of passion, and lust, and the promise of things to come.   
When they took a break to breathe, Kakashi gave his answer.   
“I’ll protect you, if you let me stay.”   
Iruka answered with a kiss of his own.


	5. Think of it as My Desire for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the super secret sexy times begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter doesn’t not really progress the plot at all, it’s just smut. Badly written smut fluff.  
Enjoy!

They’d come to an agreement: for The sake of Iruka’s safety, they would keep their relationship a secret. But that is what they had, a relationship. Iruka wanted all the intimacy that came with knowing inside and out the person you were sleeping with, and Kakashi... Kakashi was just glad he hadn’t lost Iruka. 

When Iruka arrived home, he arrived to a plate of food and a note. 

“Eat up, you’re going to need your strength. -K”  
Iruka smiled, and dug in. It was takeout, but Iruka wasn’t surprised. They both knew Kakashi couldn’t cook. When he was finished eating, he padded down the hall to take a shower. He knew it was kind of fruitless to shower now, as he was sure that whatever Kakashi had planned involved getting pleasantly sweaty, but he also knew he had a penchant for tasting Iruka’s skin, and the teacher had spent all day in the sun teaching children how to use kunai knives. He’d take a quick scrub now, and he’d actually bathe after... whatever it was Kakashi had planned. A shiver of anticipation ran through him as he stepped under the spray. He gave himself a once over with the soap, and was almost done rinsing when he felt Kakashi’s chakra enter his apartment. A smile split his face. The fun was about to begin.

When he stepped into his bedroom, he was greeted with the magnificent sight of Kakashi, stretched our and nude, miles and miles of pale skin splayed at on black bedsheets. He glanced up at Iruka, eyes hooded, with a ‘come hither’ look to them. Iruka happily obliged. He pressed his own body up against Kakashi’s side, getting as much skin contact as he possibly could. He drank in Kakashi’s features, every flutter of his eyelashes, every scar and scratch, every breath he took. As he wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s middle, and tangled their legs together, he wished, not for the first time, that he could crawl inside Kakashi’s skin, knit themselves together in one body that might never be parted.

Kakashi had taken his hitai-ate off, as Iruka preferred, instead simply keeping his sharingan eye closed. Iruka grasped his face, running his thumb down the scar that bisected his eyelid. Starting at his jawline, he kissed and sucked and licked his way down Kakashi’s neck and chest, paying special attention to the mans prominent collarbones. The had been together enough times now that Iruka knew exactly how to make the other man shudder and moan. As he nipped at a particularly sensitive scar, and ran his fingertips over his abdomen. He could feel each defined muscle, As Kakashi packed no extra weight, he was simply skin and bone. He counted each rib, and thanked any god who listened that they had protected Kakashi’s heart. He traced downward, to coarse hair and the stiff manhood that stood beneath. He had managed one tiny stroke before Kakashi grew tired of his teasing, and used his own body weight to flip them over. He was caged between Kakashi’s arms, erections pressed intimately together, and he’d never felt safer. He felt Kakashi’s breath ghost over his lips before devouring them. Their tongues twisted together, in a game of give and take, a struggle for dominance with no winners, or losers for that fact. Kakashi was braced on his elbows, his fingertips resting on the very top of Iruka’s ribcage. Sometimes they’d lay like this for hours, just enjoying the taste and feel of each other. But tonight, Iruka could tell Kakashi was too keyed up for much more. He tugged his face away, and laced their fingers together. “Lube is in the nightstand.” Kakashi chuckled. “Eager tonight?” Iruka smirked. “I know you are.” And So Kakashi got to work. It had been a while since they’d done it this way, So Kakashi was careful with his lovers body. He started with one finger, gently probing at his tight passage. To keep Iruka’s erection from flagging, he gently sucked on the head, with just enough pressure and suction to keep him on edge, but not so much that he’d cum. He added a second finger, and Iruka sucked in a breath. “You ok?” Kakashi was concerned, that hadn’t been the reaction he was seeking. Iruka nodded, but it was stiff. “Hurts. More than I thought.” He took a breath through his nose, and then seemed to make up his mind. “Kiss me.” He demanded. So Kakashi did. He kissed Iruka breathless, he kissed him until he couldn’t feel anything but Kakashi’s thundering pulse, and the taste of his lover, and the mounting pressure in his groin. He felt Kakashi add another finger, but he didn’t feel the burn. He was drowning in Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi. “I’m ready.” Kakashi didn’t hesitate. He pulled out his fingers, lubed himself up, and pressed in. He knew Iruka’s body so well, almost better than his own, he was able to hit the other mans prostate on the second thrust. He wanted to immediately set a pace, but Iruka was like a velvet vice against him, and he had to take it slow. He’d burn the world for this man. He wasn’t the best at talking, let alone dirty talk, but he let lose the string of words he was thinking. “You’re so perfect. You feel so good, so strong, I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re body, god it’s like it was made for me. I want to touch every part of you, feel your skin and taste the essence that is *you*.” As he talked, his pace became erratic, and he felt himself slipping. He grabbed Iruka’s erection, hot and heavy in his palm, and closed his fist. “Come on Iruka. Let go.” And so he did. His hips snapped, and he could see Iruka’s eyes roll back. He stuttered Kakashi’s name, and that’s all it took. He emptied himself into Iruka’s body, allowing himself this moment, with this man. The man that he loved.


	6. All of His Sorrow won’t fit in His Chest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka ‘I’m just a chuunin Sensei ’ Umino strikes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorty, but I’m bad at breaking up my ideas and plot.  
Sorry.

He’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. He and Kakashi had scaled down on their public friendship, Kakashi didn’t want his enemies to see them together in any capacity, didn’t want to make Iruka a target.  
Iruka argued that they’d already been friends for a while, if they were going to come after him, he would already be on their radar.  
So they agreed to something in the middle, a cordial public acquaintance, a relationship that wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. To break the public friendship they had, they staged a fight at the missions desk. Kakashi handed in a report, eight months overdue, that he turned in, very poorly written.  
Iruka was outraged, offended. Who did he think he was? Konoha’s best? Certainly not with paperwork like this!?  
Kakashi had then taken it one step further, by implying that indeed, he didn’t care about the paperwork, that both the reports and the ninja who handled them were unimportant.  
Iruka had made sure that Kakashi knew how much that particular sentiment hurt, and Kakashi had made sure that he made it up to the other man. Iruka had woken up covered in love bites and bruises the shape of Kakashi’s fingertips, and he had smiled.  
It was worth it.  
It had to be. 

This sensible distance had worked for a while, they’d even built it up a bit. They’d gone from glares at the market, to polite greetings, to Kakashi giving Iruka advice on how to handle the Kyuubi container. All had been well, until Kakashi became Kakashi-sensei, teacher to Iruka’s bundle of sunshine.  
He had laughed and laughed when Kakashi came home and told him.  
“You did this.” He groused. “You helped Lord Third put the teams together.” Iruka had to wipe tears from his eyes.  
“I helped, but I don’t choose the Jounin Sensei.”  
“YOU STILL DECIDED TO PUT *UCHIHA* SASUKE AND Naruto TOGETHER.”  
“Don’t forget Sakura.” His lover replied cheekily. And the smile he gave made Kakashi’s heart melt. There was a feeling in the pit of his chest, no, two feelings. The comfortable feeling of domesticity, and guilt. He felt his heart contract, there wasn’t room for these two conflicting emotions. And yet, there was no other choice.

Kakashi had passed his first team. Iruka had been genuinely worried, it had taken Naruto so long to get out of the academy, (and had cost Iruka the betrayal of a friend and a fuma shurikun to the spine.) he didn’t want him to have to go back to school. Worse, Iruka wouldn’t be his teacher if he had to go back, he’d be stuck with a prejudiced bigot who wouldn’t help Naruto at al.  
But they had figured out the test, and they had passed.  
This meant Iruka saw less of his behind-closed-doors lover, and more of the comparatively cold Kakashi-Sensei, but that was alright. Naruto was safe, and learning fast, and growing like a weed under Kakashi’s tutelage. All was well. 

Until nominations for the chuunin exams arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many character and point of view switches can I make before y’all get sick of me? (I just really can’t decide which person I want to write in, so I’m going to write in them all.)


	7. A Gathering Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHUUNIN EXAMS FIGHT SUCKERS

“I’m nominating team seven.” 

Iruka’s mouth went dry. He must have misheard. Team seven... all the kids from the last graduating class were much too young. Too young, and too inexperienced. They had barely survived their battle with Zabuza and Haku after all, and yet Kakashi thought they were ready to face a series of tests specifically designed to weed out the weak? Iruka himself had been sixteen before he underwent the exams, and he’d only passed due to his talent with traps and seals. What did Naruto have? Knuckleheaded determination?  
He’d be killed for sure. 

“Excuse me! Lord Third, with all respect those kids are much too young.”  
He didn’t think. He was speaking out against the Hokage, against these Jounin teachers, against Hatake Kakashi... his lover. And he didn’t care one bit. He wouldn’t let this stand. He was about to argue another point when he caught Kakashi’s cold one eyed stare.  
“No offense Sensei, but they’re not your students anymore. They’re my soldiers. Who knows? Breaking them might be fun.”  
Iruka’s blood ran cold. In the distance, he heard the Hokage talk about a preliminary test, but he barely registered it. All he could see in his red tinted vision was Kakashi, and the idea of choking the life out of him.

Iruka’s hands were around his throat before he could even shut the apartment door. He’d known Iruka would be angry, but he’d expected a verbal dressing down, but Iruka had gone straight for the kill. Of course Kakashi let him. He enjoyed the fuzzy edges around his vision as oxygen deprivation set in. He wondered idly how far Iruka would go.  
Right to the brink, it seemed. Kakashi was just about to pass out when Iruka removed his hands, and braced Kakashi against his side.  
He heard Iruka, through the jelly like cotton of lack of oxygen. Wait. What? Kakashi was amused by his own strange thoughts. What had Iruka said? It sounded like a wondered, “You let me?” And the the sweet release of sleep came for him. 

When he woke up, he found he had been undressed and wrapped in a soft yukata. He could hear Iruka puttering around, so he followed the soft noises till he found the teacher.  
“Want to talk about it RuRu?” Iruka jumped, he hadn’t heard the other man come down the hall. He scowled at the nickname, Kakashi only used it when he wanted something. Usually that something was sex, and he really wasn’t in the mood.  
He turned, and reached out to grab Kakashi’s waist. He had so many questions, and he wanted answers. Hopefully if he held Kakashi, he wouldn’t try to run. 

“First things first.” He felt Kakashi tense, bracing himself for a scolding. “I love you.” He punctuated the sentiment with a kiss. “Always, and forever, no matter what you do.” Kakashi wished he could have that promise down in writing. It make his blood sing and his heart race, he clung to Iruka like he was the only thing left in the world. Iruka chuckled. Then he snuggled his face down into the crook of Kakashi’s neck, and took a deep breath. “Secondly. You let me choke you till you passed out. Why?” His voice was earnest, concerned. Kakashi ran his hands up and down his back.  
“Maa Sensei, you needed to let it out. I trusted you wouldn’t hurt me.” He waited a moment. “Should we add breath play to our bedroom list? You seem quite good at it.” Iruka smacked him, but it seemed more out of habit than anything else.  
“Maybe we should,” he replied huskily. “It did feel good to have you underneath my hands, your pulse racing,” his eyes dilated, and Kakashi wiggled his hips, begging for friction, contact. Iruka took a step back. “Don’t try to distract me!” Kakashi just leered, and regained the step closer to Iruka. Iruka sighed, but let him snuggle up. “Just one more thing.” The thing Kakashi had been waiting for, the elephant in the room. He held up his hand. “I nominated them because they’re ready Iruka. Maybe not ready to pass, but they won’t die. They need to test their teamwork and individual skills. I wouldn’t do anything to harm them Iruka, surely you must believe that.” Iruka was looking at him closely. “Thank you, that explains a lot.” He paused. “And of course I believe that, I realized that right after I made my dissent known. But that wasn’t my question. Why did you say it might be fun to break them.” Without a beat Kakashi answered. “Because I knew the look on your face would be so damn funny.” He squawked, but let Iruka pull him toward the bedroom. After all, he deserved whatever punishment Iruka served up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get a huge smile and my little heart pitter patters when I see I’ve got a message in my inbox! You are all too wonderful.   
We should be back to the non cannon storyline next update, but I just love the interaction these two have here I couldn’t *not* write about it. 
> 
> (Wait does this mean I have to write a breath play scene now???)


	8. Kind of Makes You Wonder How it Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iruka’s in pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update should be Monday!   
Enjoy <3

Sasuke was gone and everything hurt.  
Naruto was heartbroken, Sakura kept crying, and Kakashi. Well, Kakashi was furious.  
Mostly with himself, but he was also angry at the selfishness and hatred that Sasuke couldn’t let go of, angry at Orochimaru’s ambition and desperate grasp at power, and deep down, so far in his heart that he would never admit it, even to himself, he was angry at Iruka.  
He’d taken Naruto under his wing, protected and loved him when he was friendless, why couldn’t he have done the same for Sasuke?  
He didn’t mean to, but he let that anger bleed out.  
And Iruka was hurting. 

The cold public professionalism hurt enough. It was enough to be snubbed and degraded outside, if only he could have a loving Kakashi inside, in the safety of his own home. But since Sasuke had left, Kakashi was different. He was silent and stoic, trapped in his own head. He took more and more missions, S-class, filling in when ANBU needed him. He kept his mask on at home.  
So Iruka combated the creeping loneliness with missions desk shifts, and bar hopping afterwards. His friends would watch as threw back shots, wondering where their sweet Chuunin Sensei had gone. He gave excuses about the wild antics of his new class, and Anko and Genma would smile and nod and not believe a word he said. He started wearing leather pants and flirting with the bartender. Iruka would order another drink, and drink, and flirt, and drink. Sometimes kakashi would make his way to the same bar, never drinking, only watching Iruka with a barely concealed anger, looking away anytime the other man glanced over at him. Iruka’s friends had started to question the discrepancy, believing that their friendship had been on the mend.  
They could not have been more wrong. 

Kakashi crawled into bed, scratches still bleeding, feet aching and muscles sore. He just wanted to pass out, to embrace some darkness, to forget about the world of the living for a while. Unfortunately, the living was in his bed. How long had Iruka been staying at his flat? Why would he stay here when Kakashi wasn’t home, why wasn’t he in his own bed, maybe even with an overly friendly bartender. Didn’t he deserve to come home and be away from it all for a while? Kakashi had blood all over him, tainting the very ground he walked on, and he didn’t want to wash it off. He deserved to feel the sting of loneliness and hunger, wanted to feel the burn of anger and a fresh kill for Konoha. Kakashi tried to bite down the rising bile, he was ashamed at his own thoughts. He knew Iruka was only trying to get his attention back. He was here, in Kakashi’s bed, because he wanted to be surrounded by Kakashi’s scent, knowing that if he couldn’t have the man himself, he’d take an empty bed that once contained him. It was insupportable. He poked roughly at Iruka’s elbow. Iruka woke slowly, Kakashi noted. Much too slowly for a ninja.  
“Come on Iruka, up. If I were an enemy, you’d be dead by now.”  
Iruka was not awake enough to see that this was not playful banter, but instead a serious accusation. He smiled, and tried to worm his way into Kakashi’s arms. The smile didn’t last when Kakashi pushed him away.  
“Kashi?” His voice faltered and broke, confused.  
“Out. I need you to get out. Now.”  
It was all too much, all at once. Iruka couldn’t hold back the sob that welled up in his throat. He had suffered a stuck up copy nin, ignored the voice in his head that told him that when Kakashi belittled him in public, it was because that how he really felt. Kakashi-sensei was a stone wall, and that cut at his very soul, but *Kakashi* always made up for it later, in warm smiles, sleepy hugs and affectionate words. A person he could love, not a character to play.  
Now he had nothing. He had suffered for nothing. So he did what he could to escape the pain, to protect his heart. He ran. He ran down darkened streets and alley ways, not sure where he was running to, just knowing what he was running *from*. He ran and ran, eyes blinded by tears, feet stumbling from sleep. He ran until he thought his lungs would give out and his legs would break.  
He ran straight into the arms of a missing-nin. 

“Gotcha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda broke my own heart with this chapter, so that’s fun.  
We’re nearing the end game y’all.


	9. Wait for Me, I’m Coming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A desperate Iruka seeks escape.  
Kakashi is left alone and confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I a little harsh with Kakashi last chapter? Perhaps.  
Was it a little Out Of Character? Maybe.  
Did y’all seem to like it less than other chapters? A little. 
> 
> So I think it’s time for a redemption arc.
> 
> (Note: I CANNOT get that last paragraph to break up correctly. It’s driving me nuts. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and nothing’s working. So it’s a whole big long lump of switching perspectives and scenes, and I’m really sorry about it. Hopefully I can figure it out at some point! But I wanted to publish the chapter, so you get content with crappy formatting. :/ sorry. )

Kakashi somewhat regretted his words as soon as he said them. But he couldn’t regret saving the teacher from the monster in his room: himself. He’d gotten back from a mission, one not physically harder than the rest, but it had taken its toll mentally.  
He’d had to kill children, three of them, to be precise. All had been under the age of twelve, and in their own way, a threat to Konoha and the Land of Fire. They had to go, and who better than ‘Friend Killer Kakashi’ to dispatch them? Iruka May have been a Shinobi, he may have understood duty, and the Will of Fire, but this?  
He was sure Iruka would forgive him for pushing him out of his bed, but the murder of children? He wasn’t so sure. 

They had him in chains, but left him ungagged. They wanted him to talk, to sing like a bird. They wore no Village headbands, no distinctive clothing. Even the questions they asked were vague, as if they didn’t want to give away why they’d taken him specifically. But he knew they had him for a reason, they hadn’t taken just any ninja. Iruka had two guesses, and their names were Naruto and Kakashi.  
Kakashi had been his first guess, after all, the man himself had warned Iruka about his many enemies. But they’re been so careful for so long. Then again, Iruka had taken to sleeping in Kakashi’s apartment when the man was away. That didn’t exactly scream discretion. As for Naruto, he’d recently gone away with the legendary Sannin Jiraiya, to train, and get stronger, to protect the beast inside of him. Iruka didn’t know where they were, but he did receive the occasional letter from the boy, so he of all people would have the most insider information about him. Iruka wondered if it even mattered, if he should even try to figure out who had taken him, and why. He was trapped, but in the end, he wouldn’t break. So what did it really matter? His eyelids slipped closed, and his spirits slipped with them. 

Kakashi couldn’t find Iruka. He’d been lugging now cold ramen and Iruka’s favorite tea, searching everyplace the man usually was. He wasn’t home, or at the academy. He wasn’t at the desk, or getting ramen. He wasn’t at the memorial stone, or at the riverside picnic spot. In a fit of desperation, Kakashi even checked his own apartment. No luck. He chucked the gifts onto the kitchen counter, and threw himself on the couch. Iruka must be avoiding him. And if that was so, two could play that game.

Iruka tugged tiredly on the chains that bound him to the wall. He knew they wouldn’t give, there had been no give for? Two weeks? Maybe three. He was tired and hungry, and keeping count of the days was the last thing on his mind. The kept him fed, but only enough to keep him from passing out. They kept asking general questions, some of which Iruka answered, some he gave incorrect information, and some he kept silent. It was random, and not as calculated as it had been at the beginning. He was so tired. In his dreams, Kakashi came for him, riding a steely gray horse and slaying the men who held him here. His dream self got to go back to Konoha, and they made Kakashi the Hokage, and in his speech he announced his relationship with Iruka. No, he was just announcing it, he was proposing. And the whole village cheered and cheered and cheered... Iruka always woke from the dreams in a cold sweat, to his living nightmare. Kakashi wasn’t going to come for him. Iruka felt pathetic for even wishing that was so, he was a Shinobi for heavens sake, perfectly able to save himself. Except, he wasn’t. He was still here, bound and sitting in filth. Kakashi had been right. Iruka couldn’t keep himself safe in his own village, not with the kinds of threats Naruto and Kakashi faced lurking. Iruka had been gone too long. The Hokage had noticed, his friends had. Nobody asked Kakashi any questions. He’d given up hope of rescue. He was far away from home, and not important enough to put a lot of resources into anyway. If he was right, and these men had taken him for his connection to Kakashi, he doubted anyone in the village would make that particular connection. It might narrow down the list of who and where, but not if no one knew about his relationship with the Copy Nin. And he didn’t think Kakashi would mention it, not after the way they’d parted. So he kept his head down, and hoped death would find him swiftly and graciously. Something had to have happened to him. He wouldn’t skip his job for nothing, and no one had seen or heard from him in weeks. Kakashi was left alone and confused. Had he been wrong that day? Had Iruka been missing from the very start? Was it his fault? Misery demanded that he lay alone in bed, enjoying his sorrows. He should have said something. The day he couldn’t find Iruka, he should have gone to the Hokage and demanded a search party, a rescue team with him as the leader. He’d been too scared to. He’d let pride and fear get the best of him, and now Iruka was gone, possibly dead. There was nothing to be done. The Hokage had sent a team, Asuma at the head. If anyone could find Iruka, they would. Kakashi pulled the blankets up over his head, and wept. Someone else could be Iruka’s knight. He didn’t deserve to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahaha you thought I was going to give you a redemption arc??  
Fools!  
It’s going to get worse before it gets better.
> 
> It’s incredible what self loathing can convince us of.  
So do the thing.  
You’re good enough.  
<3


	10. Doubt Comes In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mad at Kakashi? Want him to suffer? This is the chapter for you!  
To get the happy ending you crave, try the next chapter! It ends better for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in updating! Business and writers block got the best of me. (That’s my excuse for the length of this chapter!)  
I hope to finish the story by Thursday, that’s when school starts again and I’ll be even more busy.  
Let me know what you think!  
Faithfully yours,  
-Kakairuaddict(withapen)

They had resorted to torture. He had been whipped, and cut, and starved. He’d been taunted and shamed, beaten within an inch of his life, and still he did not yield. He’d die first, he knew that. He’d given up hope of rescue, hours, no, days ago, Hope becoming more of a burden than a blessing. Lack of nutrients gave way to hallucinations, puddles of water appeared, hot food, rescue. He smelled the trees of Konoha, and fresh ramen, and Asuma’s cigarette smoke. No. Wait. Maybe that was one thing that was real... He finally passed out in Asuma’s arms, cradled as if he were a precious thing, surrounded by the whispered promises of home. He woke up several hours later, to the feeling of being force fed water. He sputtered, and struggled to sit up. “Easy Sensei.” (Ok I’m about to do something crazy. This might fail, and y’all might hate it, but I’m struck by a sudden fit of inspiration. IM GOING TO WRITE TWO ENDINGS. here is one.) Iruka reached out hands, grasping the person nearest him. “Kakashi?” He asked hopefully. “Sorry Sensei, it’s just me.” He had grabbed Sakura’s arm, stopping her from the healing she’d been busy with. “It’s me, and Asuma-Sensei, and Genma-San. You’re alright, you’re safe, and the enemy nin are dead.” Iruka gave a dry, hacking cough. “Who were they? What did the want?” Genma leapt down from a tree, and filled him in. “As best we can tell, they wanted to know about Naruto and Jiraya. But they had little to go on in the first place, so they didn’t ask very intelligent questions. We guess they heard the Akatsuki looking for him, and decided to take a shot at him too. They didn’t expect a Chuunin Sensei to put up a fight. You did a good job Iruka-Sensei.” Genma patted him on the shoulder, and walked past. “I’m going to go check the perimeter with Asuma, and we’ll leave as soon as you’re able Sensei.” Iruka nodded, but his heart was breaking. Kakashi hadn’t come for him. It took several days before he saw the copy nin. Iruka suspected he’d been hiding, surely he knew Iruka was back. But he hadn’t checked on him, the coward. And Iruka was sick of it. He was ready to hunt down Sharigan no Kakashi. 

“Why. Didn’t. You. Look. For. Me?” Iruka spat, words as hurtful as venom. “I was gone for five weeks Kakashi, five weeks and you didn’t even look for me? No at all?” Despite his best efforts, his voice broke and he was crying wet snotty tears. The anger had left his voice that quickly, leaving him desperately heartbroken instead.  
Kakashi held up his hands in a faux surrender.  
“How was I supposed to know you’d been taken?”  
Iruka whipped around to look at him, eyes red and blazing. “How were you supposed to know? How were you.” His voice broke with anger. “Supposed to know.” With each word he took a menacing step toward Kakashi. “You were the one who warned me about your enemies in the first place! Surely you’ve been keeping your eye on them since we got together!” Kakashi visibly cringed.  
“Maa Sensei...” Iruka interrupted. “No, don’t you “Sensei” me. Tell me what’s going on. Now.”  
Kakashi seemed to shrink inwardly on himself. “I wasn’t aware of any threats to you or me in the village.” He whispered.  
Iruka shook his head. “No. I’m sorry, could you repeat that, I must have misheard. Because it sounded like you just said you didn’t know about any threats here. The threats are what our relationship is based on, Kakashi.”  
Kakashi stuttered and faltered, “I thought it was based on love?”  
Iruka laughed. He laughed an utterly insane miserable laugh. “Love? Is this what this is? Because it looks a lot like selfishness and lies from where I’m standing.”  
“Let me explain, I only did what I thought was...” Iruka stepped away and turned his back. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear from you again.  
And with that, Iruka walked away.

Kakashi was at Iruka’s wedding. Of course he was, he had to be. He was the Hokage, and Iruka was the principal of the Academy. He didn’t know the woman, but he thought he remembered she was a member of the Nara clan. He leaned over to Tenzou, who was sitting on his left.  
“What is the brides name ago?”  
Tenzou rolled his eyes. “Nara Kagome, Senpai.” 

Lost. How fitting. Because that’s exactly what Iruka was now. Lost to him forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My quick google search tells me that the name Kagome means lost, so that’s what that means.  
I wrote this chapter out of outline order. Can you tell?  
The next chapter is going to be a happy ending!


	11. Come Home With Me X2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take two, different ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REDEMPTION ARC SUCKERS

They had resorted to torture. He had been whipped, and cut, and starved. He’d been taunted and shamed, beaten within an inch of his life, and still he did not yield. He’d die first, he knew that. He’d given up hope of rescue, hours, no, days ago, Hope becoming more of a burden than a blessing. Lack of nutrients gave way to hallucinations, puddles of water appeared, hot food, rescue. He smelled the trees of Konoha, and fresh ramen, and Asuma’s cigarette smoke. No. Wait. Maybe that was one thing that was real... He finally passed out in Asuma’s arms, cradled as if he were a precious thing, surrounded by the whispered promises of home. He woke up several hours later, to the feeling of being force fed water. He sputtered, and struggled to sit up. “Easy Sensei.” (Ok I’m about to do something crazy. This might fail, and y’all might hate it, but I’m struck by a sudden fit of inspiration. IM GOING TO WRITE TWO ENDINGS. here is the second!) Iruka reached out hands, grasping the person nearest him. “Kakashi?” He asked hopefully.  
“I’m here.” Came a voice from above him. There was a very gentle squeeze to his hand, and Iruka bit back a sob.  
“I’m not dreaming?”  
Kakashi chuckled, but it was strained. “Not unless you and I are having the same dream.”  
Iruka was silent, puzzling everything out. His memory was foggy, and he was so tired and sore.  
“I thought Asuma got me?”  
There was movement to his left, and Asuma popped into eyesight. “I did. I got you out while Kakashi took care of those sons of...” Kakashi laid his hand on Asuma’s shoulder. “It isn’t important. You’re here, you’re safe, and Sakura was able to heal most of your injuries. We’ll be home soon.”

Asuma patted his shoulder. “I’m going to go check on Sakura, and we’ll head out as soon as you’re ready.”  
Iruka lay back, thoughtful. “I wasn’t sure if you would come for me.” He whispered. He glanced up, and saw that Kakashi was crying. “Kashi?”  
Kakashi took a few big breaths, and snuggled up closer to Iruka’s side. “I almost didn’t. I almost let the most precious thing I have go.” He shuddered, almost as if he couldn’t breath. Iruka squeezed his had comfortingly. He was confused, but Kakashi was here, and willing to talk, and he would take it. “Genma was assigned to come get you, in fact, the team had already left. I looked for you, after our... after I threw you out. I couldn’t find you, I thought you ere avoiding me. It was petty, and I built it up in my head, convinced myself you just didn’t want me. Even after I heard they were sending a team for you, I was so mad i didn’t volunteer. But a couple hours after the team dispatched I realized my mistake. You’d never play games with me like that, and I knew I had to come find you.”  
“So I ran. I ran as fast as I could, and I caught up with them. I explained us, our relationship, and Genma went home. I’ve been a liar and a fool but I’m here. And I hope that counts for something.”  
Iruka nodded, taking it all in. “We’ll talk, Kashi,” He slurred. “For now, sleep.” Kakashi laughed. “Sleep love.” And Iruka did. Kakashi ended up carrying Iruka back to Konoha, but he found he was willing to bear the burden. He carry Iruka a thousand more miles if it only a Iruka would stay close to him. He still had to tell the other man the truth, but he was done living a lie. If Iruka could forgive him, they could start a real relationship, one built on trust and honesty. If not, at least he would be able to say he did right by the other man. Iruka recovered in the hospital a week, Sakura had taken care of the worst of his wounds, but he was severely dehydrated and malnourished. Kakashi came to see him everyday, sneaking him treats and soda when the nurses weren’t looking. When it came time for him to be released, Kakashi was there to take him home. He settled Iruka on the couch, and placed a bowl of ramen in his lap. Iruka looked at him with suspicion. “Are you bribing me?” He’d expected Kakashi to laugh. He didn’t. Instead, he knelt on the floor next to him. “I have something to tell you.” Iruka’s gut twisted, and he opened up his mouth to speak. Kakashi held up his hand. “Please. I have no right to ask anything of you, but I I don’t say this now, I might never get it out.” Iruka nodded, and closed his mouth. “I told you that day that I almost let you go. I kicked you out of my bed, and I thought maybe even my life. You see Sensei, there is blood on my hands, blood I can’t seem to wash out. I had just returned from an assassination mission, I killed three children.” He gulped, but Iruka kept silent, and maintained eye contact. He reached out, and squeezed Kakashi’s hand. At that, Kakashi let the tears flow freely, weakness be damned. This was Iruka. “I didn’t want to taint you with that blood. You are everything good, the stars in my night sky, the rosy dawn to my dusk. I didn’t want to ruin you.” Iruka placed the ramen carefully on the tabletop, and knelt down to be with Kakashi on the floor. He still didn’t say anything, just carded his hand gently through Kakashi’s hair. “As far as I knew Iruka, I don’t have any direct enemies in the village.” He could feel Iruka tense, but he didn’t pull away. “It always helps to be cautious, but not so much that our whole relationship had to be hidden. That first night together, I woke up soaked in innocent blood. I dreamed my bloody handprints all over your body, and I saw hatred in your your eyes. I sullied you, and you couldn’t forgive me for it. I did what I thought I had to do to keep you, and now I see that my logic was flawed, deeply. I understand if you can’t forgive me...” and finally, Iruka spoke. “Kakashi?” Kakashi took a shaky inhale. “Yes?” “Shut up.” Kakashi looked at him in astonishment. “But,” “I said, shut up.” Kakashi snapped his jaw closed, and let Iruka finish. “I did what you asked, I listened. And now it’s your turn. Hatake Kakashi, I love you. I am also very angry with you, but that doesn’t change my feelings. I forgive you. I don’t trust you, you’ll have to earn that back. You’re right, your logic was flawed, but I didn’t have to go along with it. A piece of You was better for me than nothing, and I stand by that. I’ll take whatever you can give me Kashi, bloody hands and all.” He raised Kakashi’s hands, and kissed the palms. “You’re a flower in my palm, Kakashi, so beautiful, so delicate, and utterly mine. If your hands are bloodstained, let me help you wash them clean. FIN.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is just going to be a breathplay drabble, thank you so much for sticking with me, I hope this dual ending made sense! This didn’t end exactly how I planned, I was aiming for a wedding, but this felt like the natural place to stop.   
The title and chapters are based on the musical Hadestown, the title inspired from the poster art, and the chapters are all lyrics or title names. I was aiming for a wedding because the lyrics are   
“Come home with me/ who’re you?/the man who’s gonna marry you.   
And I wanted to play off that. But it didn’t happen... at least not yet. If inspiration hits me I might do a one off.   
Anyway. Wow. I’m a little sad this is over, I had so much fun writing it, and even more fun reading your comments, seeing how it affected you too.   
So much love,   
Kakairuaddict(withapen)


	12. Bonus! Take My Breath Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The promised breath play scene.  
My aim is a thousand words. May the smut gods look favorably upon me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE! Erotic asphyxiation is edgeplay, and should only be attempted with a partner you trust after careful kink negotiations.

“I’m home!” Iruka could hear Kakashi shrug off his robes, and he heard them as the hit the floor. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Some respect for the Hokage robes would be nice, dearest.” He called down the hall. Kakashi poked his head into the doorway. “I thought you’d appreciate me doing my part to get naked as fast as possible.” Iruka looked at his husbands bare face. “You just got home!” He couldn’t keep the exasperation out of his voice. “You need to eat at least.” It really wasn’t fair that Kakashi had such a cute pout. “But Rukaaaaa....” Iruka just shook his head. “Your plate is in the fridge. Go eat.” And as Kakashi turned to go he shouted after him, “and pick up your robes!” He was met with grumbles, but he knew the robes and hat would be carefully hung.

Iruka made Kakashi eat in the kitchen, knowing full well that he wouldn’t finish his food if he ate at the katsetsu with him. Kakashi got handsy when he was horny, and he was clearly in the mood tonight. Iruka couldn’t blame him though, it had been a while. Between Hokage and Principal duties, the two rarely had a free evening together. They tried hard to have lunch with together, and Iruka would often take his own paperwork to Kakashi’s office so they could be together, but it simply wasn’t the same. Tonight Shikamaru had sent Kakashi home early, Temari was in Suna, so he might as well stay and do paperwork instead of going home to an empty house. It was Friday, so Iruka had the weekend off, and he was looking forward to spending it with his husband. 

Kakashi ate at lightning speed, excited for his night at home. Balancing work and home was hard, but Iruka understood duty, and he made sure Kakashi understood his own worth too. He deserved a night at home; he deserved to rest. Kakashi giggled at his own perverse thoughts. He certainly hoped he wouldn’t be getting a lot of rest tonight. 

“Kakashi?” Iruka’s voice floated tentatively from the living room. “You know it makes me nervous when you giggle to yourself. What are you thinking?”  
Kakashi body flickered next to him, whispering hotly into Iruka’s ear. “It’d be easier if I just show you, Ru-kun.”  
Iruka jumped, but smiled at settled into Kakashi’s arms. “What did I say about body flickering in the house?” He had wanted to sound stern, but there was no hear behind his words.  
“Maa, Ru it was an emergency. I simply couldn’t wait another second.”  
Iruka only had time to murmur, “foolish man,” before he had his breath kissed away.

Kakashi enjoyed kissing Iruka. After so long together, he knew exactly what would make the other man gasp and moan, and he enjoyed swallowing those sounds. He enjoyed knowing it was his mouth and tongue that illicited them. He almost always started slowly, carefully licking his way into Iruka’s mouth, stroking his teeth, and tongue, and pallet. He would take his time, waiting until shudders racked his lovers frame, waiting until Iruka was simply gagging for it. He’d give a hard suck to Iruka’s tongue, a mimicry of what he wanted to do elsewhere on his body, and would pull back. He’d enjoy Iruka’s glazed expression, and the bits of saliva that cling to the corners of his mouth. He always looked utterly sexed out, when they hadn’t even started yet. Tonight was no exception. Kakashi pulled back, and smiled. This man was his, all his. He was bewitched, body and soul. 

Iruka took a moment to catch his breath, and enjoy the flushed cheeks of his bare faced lover. He waited patiently for the next step, Kakashi would take him in his mouth, bringing him to the brink of pleasure over and over again as he stretched and prepared him. Iruka enjoyed the slight pain that came with being filled with Kakashi, but it really had been a long time, and he knew that they’d have to be careful tonight. But all Kakashi did was look at him, with a fierce intensity.  
“Kashi?” Kakashi cupped his face, brushing his thumbs over his scar and cheekbones. He leaned in closer, blush rising, and,  
“I want you to take your pleasure in me.”

Iruka blinked at him. There was a beat, and then two. Then Iruka pounced, and he found himself flat on his back in bed.  
“What did you say about body flickering in the house?” He breathlessly asked. Iruka grinned at him owlishly. And in a perfect parody of Kakashi’s earlier tone he responded, “Maa, Kashi, it was an emergency. I simply couldn’t wait another second.”  
Iruka was a rough lover. Kakashi didn’t mind, but he had to be in the right headspace for it. He didn’t want to be dominated after an S-class or ANBU mission, not because he didn’t love Iruka, the opposite in fact, he did. He didn’t want to snap in the middle of their lovemaking, battle instincts rising at the wrong moment. But tonight was perfect. He was well fed, and relaxed. He could let Iruka take control. 

As enthusiastic as he had been just moments earlier, Iruka was also cautious. They’d done this before, and been together a long time, but none of that equaled consent.  
“Are you ready?” He murmured. Kakashi nodded, clearly excited. “What do you want tonight, love?” They had an arsenal of toys and even more kinks the explored and enjoyed together, and he wanted to give Kakashi everything just as he pleased.  
Kakashi thought for a moment, settling Iruka’s thighs around his legs and hips. He ran his fingertips up and down the toned muscles as he thought, causing Iruka to shake slightly. “I want your hands,” and he paused, grabbing said hands and considering them. Iruka had long, thick fingers, and fleshy palms. Kakashi nibbled at the wrist and thumb before pulling them up to wrap around his neck. “I want you to take my breath away.” He finished huskily.

“I think that can be arranged.” 

Kakashi liked being choked for a few different reasons. He loved the heady foggiest that came with oxygen deprivation, the fact that every other sensation was heightened because of it. He loved the bruises it left, a secret gift from the man he loved, hidden from the rest of the world. But mostly he liked the submission, the fact that you could place his life, his breath, his love, in someone else’s hands, *and trust them with it.* Iruka would not harm him. And that was what he loved most of all.  
Iruka arranged him comfortably, hands above his head, spread out under Iruka’s watchful eye. Iruka was forced to get off, he still had his clothes on, but he paused as went to straddle Kakashi.  
“You sure you don’t want me to ride you?”

Kakashi squirmed. He did love that. It was a wild in and out of control ride, always wondering if he could make Iruka cum before he had to tap out to take a breath. He set the pace, but Iruka held his air.  
“Maybe for round two?” He compromised. Iruka laughed. “Just how young do you think we are?” But he was satisfied with Kakashi’s answer, so instead of settling himself on Kakashi as he had been before, he knelt on the bed and slung Kakashi’s legs up onto his shoulders. He pressed an affectation kiss to each ankle, and set about stretching his husband.  
He was three fingers deep and abusing Kakashi’s prostrate mercilessly, when he placed the small bell in Kakashi’s hand. He gave him a kiss, and a reminder, “drop this if you need me to stop.”

And with that, Iruka wrapped his hands around Kakashi’s throat, and started to squeeze. He knew about how long it took for Kakashi’s vision to start to swim, and when his eyes lost focus he thrust into him. Kakashi groaned, or rather, he tried to, but there was no room for him to let it out. It seemed to have some effect on Iruka though, as he flexed his hips and shifted his angle. “You feel so good under me, Kashi, I can feel every heartbeat, every pulse, every flex of that perfect throat of yours. Maybe next time I should choke you with my cock, and watch you struggle to swallow me and my cum down that slutty sleeve of yours...” but he stopped, as Kakashi came untouched. “Really, Kakashi? I’m disappointed, honesty. You couldn’t hold on just a little longer?” Kakashi’s erection twitched under the criticism, they’d learned about Kakashi’s humility kink the hard way, but it would be awhile still. He was well and truly spent.  
Iruka released his hold minutely, allowing Kakashi’s body to process the orgasm and fresh air in his lungs. Iruka rode him through the aftershocks, and then pulled out. Kakashi whined at the loss, but stayed still. Once he had recovered, he looked at Iruka. “You didn’t get off.” It was a statement, not a question. “Somebody couldn’t hold out long enough for me to.” He replied.  
“I know someone who can help with that.” And Kakashi pounced to press Iruka into the mattress. He couldn’t leave the good man waiting after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it! Thank you again for all the love and support, it really was the highlight of my day to read all your comments.  
Much love, Kakairuaddictwithapen


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